Chase It Yourself

Sometimes, I give up on my dog parent.

I mean he’s a nice guy and all but sometimes, he just doesn’t get it.

He does what other dog owners do without asking.

I think he needs obedience training.

We like to go to parks and the beach together.

So far so good.

But when we get there, I think he wants to show off what a great dog parent he is.

He wants everyone to know how smart he is and how I’ll do whatever he says.

Silly man.

Don’t you know I’ll do anything you want as long as there’s a payoff for me in the end.

Showing off for that cute girl in the bikini doesn’t do anything for me.

And when I’m relaxing on the beach, the last thing I want to do is fetch the stick because YOU want to show off.

The last time I went racing for the stick it whispered something in my ear.

“Ralph, I like it here and I don’t want to come back with you.”

What was I to do?

Sticks have feelings too, don’t they?

So before you want to show off for that pretty girl, just ask me to take care of things.

I’ll just saunter over and give her the “oh look at the little puppy look” and she’ll naturally start to play with me.

Because who could refuse my face?

I am the ULTIMATE chick magnet.

You don’t need a limo or fancy clothes.

By the way, anyone want to rent me by the hour?

And you go chase the stick yourself!

If you think I’m cuter than any bikini, click the LIKE button.