Weird & Wacky

A Dog’s Dictionary

Does your dog have any silly quirks or unusual antics? Maybe you just need to view the world from your dog’s eyes! Check out this dog dictionary that may explain your four-legged friend’s silly behavior, from Traveling Dogs.

A Dog’s Dictionary

Leash: A strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your owner where you want him or her to go. Make sure that you are waiting patiently with leash in mouth when your owner comes home from work. This immediatly makes your owner feel guilty and the walk is lengthened by a good 10 minutes.

Dog Bed: Any soft, clean surface, such as a white bedspread, newly upholstered couch or the dry cleaning that was just picked up.

Drool: What you do when your owners have food and you don’t. To do this properly, sit as close as you can, look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet on their laps.

Sniff: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs or those people that sometimes smell like dogs.

Garbage Can: A container your neighbors put out weekly to test your ingenuity.Stand on your hind legs and push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right, you are rewarded with food wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume, moldy crusts of bread and sometimes even an old Nike.

Bicycles: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The rider swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

Thunder: A signal the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.

Wastebasket: A dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house. This is particularly fun to do when there are guests for dinner and you prance around with the contents of that very special bathroom wastepaper basket!

Sofas: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean. If there are people sitting on the couch just include them as a handy wipe.

Bath: A process owners use to clean you, drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

Lean: Every good dog’s response to the command “sit,” especially if your owner is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

Love: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction, shared by you and your owner. Show it by wagging your tail

Find more dog humor here. Got any additions to add to this dog dictionary? Share them with us below!

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Avatar Of Deannfgans

    DeannFGans

    says:

    my neighbor’s step-sister makes $73 an hour on the laptop . She has been without work for five months but last month her payment was $15623 just working on the laptop for a few hours. try this out …….
    ======= http://www.jobseg.com =========

  2. Avatar Of Weezyljm

    weezyljm

    says:

    Kitty litter: Aromatic, crunchy tasty treat kept in a pan for your daily consumption, although forbidden by hooman,

  3. Avatar Of Weezyljm

    weezyljm

    says:

    Hooman: A two-legger that needs to be sniffed, if you are lucky, you’ll get to pick yours and keep one for your very own, then you rename him “master”.

  4. Avatar Of Magen Stevens

    Magen Stevens

    says:

    Cat: A Four Legged Creature that is FUN to chase , that has way better tasting Food than our Food !

  5. Avatar Of Margaret

    Margaret

    says:

    Squirrel: Toys that move and squeak in trees

  6. Avatar Of Louise

    louise

    says:

    Car aka automobile: 4 wheeled contraption that has windows to stick head out of while rolling down the road. Owners use this to take me to park anf other fun places, but alas, sometimes to the vet and groomer, which are not-so-fun.

  7. Avatar Of Becki

    Becki

    says:

    Kitchen: that room in the house that smells of food and treats. If you follow your humans in there, you may be rewarded with biscuits or snacks. Food preparation and dining also takes place in this magical space. See also “garbage can; wastebasket.”

  8. Avatar Of Kaye Shivers

    KAYE SHIVERS

    says:

    LOVE THIS SITE AND THE DOG’S DICTIONARY IS RIGHT ON THE MARK, THANKS FOR SHARING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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